Melissa Rauch’s shrill voice as Bernadette in The Big Bang Theory made the character unforgettable. Here are some of her best quotes from the show.
Way back in 2007, a new CBS comedy series hit screens for the first time and started a path to sitcom history as it became one of the most popular shows of all time. Even though the show was created by the brilliant Chuck Lorre, no one could have predicted what a massive cult following this one would go on to amass.
The Big Bang Theory featured a group of hot-blooded, but nerdy guys (and Sheldon), all swooning over the hot new girl. With that deceptively simplistic premise, the show’s popularity later led to it adding two new cast mates to it in Mayim Bialik’s Amy Farrah Fowler and Melissa Rauch’s Bernadette Rostenkowski; love interests for Sheldon and Howard, respectively.
While both were very different characters, each became beloved members of the show in their own right, collecting tons of fans around the world for their unique quirks. Bernadette was initially a waitress to pay off her student loans before she commences work as a brilliant, but sometimes morally ambiguous microbiologist.
Her comically shrill voice and spunky attitude contrasted with her buxom petiteness, all of it making for another unforgettable character on the show. As we reminisce over her funniest moments from it, here’s a look back at Bernadette Rostenkowski’s best quotes in The Big Bang Theory.
9. “But he should know, I’m the kind of girl who could get all the giant missiles she wants.”
No one was ever truly safe from Bernadette’s classic savagery, not even Howard. In fact, Howard was probably on the receiving end of her bad temper and stinging wit the most since he regularly drew her ire with his immaturity. In this episode, the friends all end up at a conference together where they run into a tall, handsome ex-boyfriend of Bernadette’s.
Instead of being tactful, Howard insinuates that Bernadette isn’t hot enough for a guy like that. When he learns that the pair had actually dated, he becomes insecure due to the distinct height difference between himself and the other guy, and the implications this has for other ‘size differences’ between them.
Bernadette is seething from his earlier comment and hits him with this facetious low blow of a line as the entire gang winds up fighting on stage at the conference the next day.
8. “You b*****s got a problem with that, we can stop the car right now!”
Bernadette’s bullying nature often becomes a lovable part of her appeal. Since she’s so physically tiny, and has such a seemingly cute voice, her spunky attitude and downright nastiness make this side of her even more funny. This line came when the girls truant from work to visit Disneyland. En route, they all discuss the possibility of dressing up like Cinderella.
As Amy and Penny all swoon over the thought, Bernadette, who’s driving them, grows visibly upset, before suggestively saying, “We can’t all be Cinderella.” When Amy asks how they should decide who gets to be Cinderella, Bernadette’s answer is hilarious and featured some great acting from Melissa Rauch as she delivers the full line.
“Well it’s simple. This was my idea. I’m driving. I’m Cinderella. You b*****s got a problem with that, we can stop the car right now!”
7. “I just want my baby to have pretty things.”
One of Bernadette’s charms and uncanny abilities was how she could simultaneously be sweet to her husband Howard while emasculating him too. In this episode, after landing her job at the pharmaceutical company, Bernadette gets a large pay raise. To show Howard some love, she buys him a very expensive Rolex.
Howard’s familiar insecurities rear their head, and he’s soon stressing over whether he can be cool enough to pull one off. Bernadette’s comment is a prime example of how she often subtly lets him know who wears the pants in their marriage.
6. “Howard, help me out of the tub. I’m stuck again.”
Howard Walowitz’s inappropriately clingy relationship with his mother on the show became an iconic part of it. While it made for some of the funniest scenes, it also meant he had to constantly endure being ribbed by his friends for it.
In an episode where Raj pokes fun at Howard, Bernadette joins in and pulled this scorcher out as she imitated Howard’s mother. What made this line so funny isn’t just what she said, but how hilariously and accurately she mocked his mother’s voice as she says it.
5. “I’m gonna count to three. One…”
Penny and Sheldon’s sweet relationship meant she was often the only one that knew how to handle his weirdness and the worst of Sheldon’s obsessive habits and quirks. However, Bernadette sometimes showed a unique ability to bend Sheldon to her will too. In an episode where he’s behaving belligerently and refuses to sleep as he obsesses over a work problem, Bernadette handles him with the tact of a mother putting her child to bed.
However, since this is Sheldon, she’s first clever enough to prime him for it by appealing to the scientist in him and gently reminding him that lack of sleep makes a person less focused. When he still doesn’t want to go to bed, she unleashes this line in her most quietly menacing mom voice, and it works like a charm. Despite these early examples of her bossing him about, the two do later grow much closer as friends though.
4. “Yeah, well now you’re a Smurf, keep walking!”
Bernie’s famous ability to get her friends on the show to do exactly as she wants was most prominent when it came to bossing Howard about. In an episode where he’s depressed that no one seems to care much about his trip to space, his mood brings her down as she enters the room in a cheerful mood.
The pair is meant to be leaving for a Halloween party, but Howard has waited for the last moment to complain that he doesn’t want to go. After hearing his moping, she yells at him for how much effort she put into her costume and forces him to go. What made this scene so memorably funny is that Howard and Bernadette, who are famously both very short, are in full costume and make-up for the party, and dressed as Smurfs at the time.
3. “I know I can be tough, but that’s just because I’m surrounded by useless idiots.”
This line probably sums up everything about Bernadette’s hilarious attitude in one sentence. In the scene, she learns that Penny has been avoiding taking a job in her department because she’s dreading the thought of working directly under Bernadette.
You could hardly blame Penny for this, since by this point in the show, Bernadette’s tyrannical nature at the office and the fact that everyone, including her own boss, is afraid of her, is well established. When she confronts Penny about why she didn’t want to work with her, Bernadette’s choice of words hilariously depicts how lovably clueless she can be about how she comes across to others sometimes.
2. “If I wanted to I could wipe it out with my thumb like a God.”
Despite being a brilliant microbiologist, Bernadette often proves to have some questionable morals when it comes to her job. This is usually most apparent when she sometimes lets on to how her company actively covers up the side effects of drugs they create. In this hilarious scene, the hilarity of the line is all about the build-up and eventual delivery.
It comes when Bernadette and Penny are hanging out at Penny’s apartment and discussing their careers. Bernadette initially speaks fondly of how taken she was when she first looked through a microscope for the first time and realized that a whole other universe lives beyond our sensory perception. While starting off sweetly, she immediately switches to the tone and expression of a despot as she follows that memory up with this dark confession.
1. “You better find my husband’s mother ’cause one way or another, we’re walking out of this airport with a dead woman.”
As savage and mean as Bernadette could be, her one soft spot has always been Howard. No matter how much her husband infuriates her with his immature ways, Bernadette also proves on many occasions just how much she loves him. This quote was the perfect example of a line that showcased these two sides of her personality, and it starts when Howard’s mother sadly passes away.
He’s already distraught enough by her loss, but the airline they’re traveling on makes it worse when they lose a suitcase that has her ashes in it. As Howard walks away from the ticket clerk utterly dejected by this, out of his earshot, Bernadette threatens the woman with this line.
The scene’s nuance lies in how she also conveys her underlying sweet and caring nature too, since it conveys her desperation to make things right for Howard because she can’t stand how much he’s hurting over his mother, and she just wants to help ease his pain for him.